


Don't Look Down

by flootiger



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, First Time, Fluff, M/M, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootiger/pseuds/flootiger
Summary: They’d fucking done it. Last night, they’d crossed the line.
Relationships: Bill Kaulitz/Tom Kaulitz
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Don't Look Down

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to my tokiohotelfiction page on 11 November 2016 :)

Tom had been jittery all day, his heart racing and his palms sweaty, one knee jogging up and down restlessly in the drivers seat. An odd feeling had knotted into his stomach like creepers and was holding on tight.

They’d fucking done it.

Last night, they’d crossed the line.

“Hey.”

Tom jumped and Bill frowned at him. “Calm down, we’re almost there.”

Tom’s eyes focused the road ahead and he swallowed nervously. On the radio an old Britney song was playing and Bill began humming along. How could he be so fucking okay with this? All day Bill had been whistling through the house with Pumba trotting loyally at his feet, slowly getting ready for the evening, not even batting an eyelid when he came into the bathroom asking for Tom’s opinion on what he should wear.

Under normal circumstances Tom would have grunted and picked one at random but this time Bill had sauntered in entirely naked and Tom had nearly choked, an alarmed heat rising from his groin right up to his cheeks.

He hadn’t even answered his twin, only just managing to exit the bathroom before Bill saw the bulge that was barely covered by the towel wrapped around his waist.

Gripping the steering wheel, Tom put all his efforts into remembering how to breath.

“It’s not a big deal,” Bill said casually from beside him.

Tom swallowed, his throat dry. “How can you say that?”

Bill was silent. Then he sighed. “Fine, you’re right.”

Tom’s heart hammered against his ribcage.

“This is a big deal, Tom,” Bill gasped, throwing his head back to expose his long neck.

Hungrily, Tom licked a stripe over his throat, nibbling at Bill’s jaw and crowding his brother against the door of his bedroom.

“I don’t care,” Tom managed to say, his voice husky with lust.

“I want this so much,” Bill moaned. “I want you so much, Tom.”

Tom nodded urgently, pulling back to meet Bill’s eyes in the dark. They’d made their way through the house franticly, a desperate path of pants, kisses and illicit touches they’d never allowed themselves to explore until now. They hadn’t even managed to turn the lights on so they stood in the black, half-dressed and hot.

“I want this, too,” Tom assured him, hoping to convey how much with his love-drunk gaze.

Tom was so turned on his head was spinning and he felt, he smelt, Bill all around him like a spell. Bill’s own eyes were black in the lightless room, shining ever so slightly with what Tom hoped was desire.

“Are we really going to do this?” Bill asked, eyes huge.

Tom stepped on it, preferring to pretend Bill hadn’t just said that.

“I mean it, Tom.” Bill’s voice was harsh and Tom knew he was making no effort to hide the bite behind his words.

They sped down the motorway, rushing past a convertible with a engine like a jet and Tom grit his teeth. It felt like the small space around them was closing in on Tom and he urged his car forward, wanting to escape the oppressive atmosphere that was permeating the vehicle. Tom had never wanted to be away from Bill but he didn’t know how to act around him right now and the thought was disturbing.

“You can’t ignore this,” Bill went on. Oblivious, or simply impervious to Tom’s icy silence. “It was a long time coming. We both knew it was going to happen eventually.”

“I’m not ignoring this,” Tom finally managed. It was dark now, the sunset only a thin orange strip along the horizon. “I’m not the one ignoring this, I’m taking this very seriously.”

Bill laughed mirthlessly. “You’re always such a drama queen. Just fucking get over it and get on with it. It happened. I’m not ignoring it but I’m not going to freak out over it.”

“I’m not freaking out,” Tom said defensively. The pedal hit the floor and they surged forward.

“Watch it! We’re not in Germany.”

“Huh?” Tom frowned, confused with the direction Bill was taking this conversation.

“You’re going over a hundred, slow down!” Bill said angrily.

Alarmed, Tom’s foot lifted from the accelerator and they immediately slowed, cruising at a much more legal pace. He swallowed thickly… he hadn’t even realised.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Tom shot a nervous glance at Bill and was distressed to see his brother looking a little scared. “I’m sorry,” he said again.

“It’s ok,” Bill assured him. “It doesn’t hurt.”

Tom was fascinated by his twin. Bill was laying sprawled on his back, his hair soft and curly and his eyes hooded as he gazed down with his mouth half open at where Tom was positioned between his legs. One of Tom’s hands was pressing Bill’s thigh back, caressing with soothing fingers while the other slowly pushed two digits in and out of Bill’s little hole. Tom was caught between wanting to see where his long fingers were disappearing into his brother’s body and wanting to watch Bill’s face. A small, needy frown kept dipping right in the centre of his brow as it furrowed in pleasure and small, breathy gasps were tumbling from his mouth, huffing through the parted lips.

Tom’s own breath kept hitching as he watched his twin come undone beneath his touch.

“Does it feel good?” Tom wanted to know. Curiously, he curled his fingers inside his twin and instantly, Bill’s eyes dropped shut and his mouth dropped open.

“Uhh,” he groaned, writhing against Tom’s sheets. “Uhhh, Tom.”

Tom’s eyes widened as he tested the movement again and Bill’s hand shot down between his legs to grip Tom’s wrist and hold them still.

“Ok?” Tom asked, leaning over Bill and trying to gauge his reaction. Not taking his eyes off Bill, he placed two gentle kisses to Bill’s soft belly. His fingers remained buried deep inside Bill, warm and tight. Tom wanted to make Bill feel good. He was good at this, good at sex, but this was a brand new venture for them both and he didn’t want to fuck up.

Bill nodded and then his eyes opened dazedly and he croaked. “More.”

Tom’s stomach leapt with arousal and he pulled his two fingers free and then pushed three past Bill’s tight little ring, watching as Bill’s chest heaved and his eyes fluttered shut again.

The heady realisation hit him that he probably couldn’t fuck this up if he tried. This was how it was meant to be. Tom knew everything there was to know about Bill and this was just an extension of the closeness that had always erred on the side of inappropriate.

“Nearly there,” Bill murmured.

A hive of activity signalled they were in the right place. Cameras flashed and music boomed and in the near distance Tom could see the sea, glittering beneath the moonlight and beachside amusement park.

“You can park here,” Bill said in a clipped voice.

Tonight was meant to be fun, a chance to let off some steam and get their PR game rolling before the album release next year. They’d been dipping in and out of the limelight for the past year, Bill more so with his solo projects, so Tom wasn’t so bothered by the prospect of answering one or two questions for the camera.

“I’m in charge,” Bill said suddenly, as they slammed the car doors shut.

“What?” Tom was confused.

Bill strode ahead, already joining the throng of celebrities and glitterati that were flooding towards the red carpet area. Someone with a headpiece was ushering them forward, though security and into a building decked out like a fairy tale fantasy.

“Your’e all over the place,” Bill said, not looking at Tom but instead giving a faux smile to someone Tom vaguely recognised. “I’ll do the talking.”

Tom swore, feeling miffed with Bill for walking all over him like this. “Fucks sake, Bill—” he started crossly, reaching to grab Bill’s upper arm.

But Bill shrugged away from him and glared at Tom.

“I’m in charge,” he said again, this time more firmly.

Tom laughed. “No you’re not.”

Bill smiled lasciviously up at Tom and purred. “You’re powerless against me.”

Tom looked down at Bill, trying to display some semblance of power and control. But it was no use, Tom had lost his cool years ago. It had just taken him until now to realise that all those times he’d laughed with Bill, hugged him, cried with him, given him everything including a home and happiness, had been leading up to this. To them.

Bill was right, he was powerless against him.

“Come down here again,” Bill said, opening up his arms.

Obligingly, Tom crawled up Bill’s body, making sure to worship it on the way, dotting a lazy trail of kisses from his hip bone to his collar bone. Each time his lips touched Bill’s smooth skin, he could feel the muscles tense beneath Bill’s skin, hear the slight catch in his throat, feel the tip of Bill’s hard dick graze against his own chest and leave a wet trail of pre-come.

Bill was mewling beneath his touches, arching off the bed when Tom kissed over his pierced nipple. Experimentally, he tugged the metal bar with his teeth and grinned when Bill’s hands found his hair and wove between the locks. Their hands were all over each other, dancing over skin and digging in when it got too much, a warning to never stop.

In the dark their lips met once again and Tom groaned into the kiss, turned on beyond belief. He licked at the inside of Bill’s mouth, soft and pliant and kissing Tom back just as fiercely. A fire was roaring on the inside of Tom’s belly, fuelling the lust for his twin that sat low in his belly and made him want to spread Bill’s legs wide and screw him until tomorrow.

Nothing was hotter than this. Nothing was hotter than Bill.

Their cocks were trapped between their bodies and Tom was painfully aware of Bill desperately trying to push up from the bed to chase the delicious friction.

One of Tom’s hands snaked down over Bill’s sides, tracing the tattoos with shaking fingers until he pushed at the inside of Bill’s thigh once again, trying to find that tiny hole he so fervently wanted to get inside. Bill’s nails dug hard into Tom’s back and his mouth opened in a gasp as once again Tom circled the now wet hole with a finger before pushing three inside in a smooth motion and curling them hard.

Tom nosed at Bill’s cheek when Bill turned away from the kiss, unable to do anything but pant into the small space between them.

“Nnnggg.”

The small, desperate line had appeared once again between Bill’s brows as his eyes closed in an almost pained expression. Then he turned back to Tom, his eyes unfocused and his lips red from kissing Tom.

“Fuck me.”

Tom’s heart constricted in his chest and his dick throbbed, hot and heavy between his legs. Every part of Tom wanted to have his little brother right here in his own bed.

“I’m going to,” he managed to croak.

“Say it,” Bill whispered, his eyes wild.

“I’m going to do it.”

“What?”

“You,” Tom promised, easing his fingers free from inside Bill with a wet sound.

“Fuck you.”

“I told you,” Bill said, unapologetically. “I told you I’m in charge.”

“You’re always in charge,” Tom muttered, walking beside Bill as they made their way off the red carpet and into the main party arena. They’d just finished up a couple of short interviews and Bill was pissed off with him, more pissed off than earlier. Tom had been restless and distracted as various industry colleagues shouted greetings and cameras clamoured to get a decent shot of the twins. He didn’t want to be here, putting on a front when all he could think about was last night, so without thinking he’d interrupted Bill a couple of times, trying to hurry the questions forward so he and Bill could depart and find a place to talk.

“Look, I wasn’t trying to fuck up your interview,” Tom said. “Our interview,” he added grumpily. “I have a right to speak, too.”

“Whatever, let’s go party,” Bill waved a dismissive hand meant to silence Tom.

Tom decided not to push it.

Outside was mayhem, but it was a pretty fucking cool party, Tom had to admit. Amusement park rides and arcade games with a twist were set up all along the seaside pier and around them flashing lights and loud bangs exploded into the night as people screamed and sang in euphoria. Several revellers were dressed up to fit the theme of the night and Tom noticed Bill staring, probably stockpiling ideas for their next tour.

Tom grabbed them both a couple of beers, hoping to placate Bill with a drink or two before heading home early and sorting out whatever fucking mess they’d created for themselves.

Instead they remained at the premier party. People kept coming and going and mostly Tom let Bill do the talking, occasionally joining in with an anecdote or when Bill looked expectantly at Tom for a response.

Finally, it was just the two of them and Tom wanted to breach the subject again. He was about to when he spotted a dark head of hair and a glittery blazer two people over.

“That fucking Lambert kids is over there.”

Bill followed his gaze and rolled his eyes before taking another sip of his second beer.

“He’s older than us, Tom.”

Tom narrowed his eyes in dislike at the dark haired singer, hoping to send a subliminal message to back the fuck off his twin. Neither the singer nor Bill seemed to notice however and Tom felt mildly irked that his efforts were going unnoticed.

Then, he supposed Bill was mad at him and Tom himself was a hot mess of emotion that evening.

When he turned away from the popstar he found Bill giving him an odd look.

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you,” Bill noted dryly.

“I’m not jealous,” Tom said without thinking.

Around them the party buzzed and Tom realised he’d just told a lie.

“Ugh,” Bill turned away, crossing his arms over his chest. The movement seemed defensive and suddenly Tom felt shut out.

“What the fuck am I even supposed to have done, Bill?” Tom said lowly, trying to keep his voice from carrying across the party goers and into prying ears. Tom didn’t need any more of their private life splashed across the tabloids.

Bill’s eyes sliced sideways and gave Tom a vicious look. Tom chose not to look away, wanting to get answers from his twin.

“We shouldn’t have come tonight,” Bill said. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“We needed this,” Tom said shortly, unwilling to let Bill put a dampener on what was supposed to be a fun night.

“Fuck, I know,” Bill breathed. “It feels right. Doesn’t it, Tomi? This feels right?”

Tom could only mumble against the soft skin of Bill’s neck. The familiar scent of his twin pervaded his nostrils and made his head spin. He wanted to wrap himself up in Bill and never leave, he wanted to taste every inch of Bill and love him until they were both spent.

“Turn over,” he murmured, nosing over Bill’s jawline, his eyes closed.

“Why?” Bill said and Tom almost smiled at the whine in his voice. “I want you to fuck me.”

Tom shuddered and had to stop for a moment so he didn’t blow his load all over Bill.

“You’ll like it,” he assured Bill, pulling back and urging Bill to roll onto his stomach with guiding hands.

Bill grumbled but acquiesced, rolling into his front. One of his legs bent up at and knee and Tom bit his lip, sitting back on his haunches to admire his baby brother for a moment. Bill was pale against the dark sheets, his tattoos stark and his body gleaming, heaving with the same desire Tom himself was feeling.

“What are you going to do?” Bill asked, looking over his shoulder at Tom. “Nnn, Tom.” Bill rubbed himself on the sheets and groaned in pleasure.

“Fuck,” Tom said under his breath. “Just… wait. I’m going to try a thing.”

“A thing? Oh.”

Tom bent over Bill, his lips finding the dip that ran down the centre of his back and all the way down to his ass. He left another wet trail across Bill’s skin, kissing slowly until his twin was quivering on the bed, his fingers gripping the covers desperately as he keened softly. Tom teased, letting Bill wait just that bit too long until he whined for more, and then Tom dropped the next kiss

When he reached Bill’s ass he kissed one cheek, then the next, revelling in the mewls that tumbled between Bill’s lips as he half-formed Tom’s name. His brother was sweet and sinful all at the same time and Tom felt himself wanting to be the only name that would ever drip from Bill’s lips in that way.

With long fingers Tom needed into Bill’s ass and nosed at the crease that hid the little secret Tom wanted to get to. His breath hitched when he heard Bill let out a loud moan, muffled where he had pressed his face into the pillow.

“Fuck, Tom,” he hissed.

Tom glanced up to see his brother’s cheeks flaming pink and Tom knew he was both shy and aroused. With one finger he trailed over Bill’s twitching hole, dipping the tip in just to hear Bill’s reaction and then without warning he lick over it.

Bill jerked and Tom pressed his hands firmly into Bill’s ass, squeezing and holding him against the bed as he kissed over his entrance.

“Noooo,” Bill’s voice was low. “Too much.”

Tom knew not to stop. He kissed over Bill’s ass, breathing in the musky smell of his twin, tasting him on his tongue. Bill was warm and wet and delicious.

Tom hummed and Bill shuddered at the vibrations.

Then Bill was jerking away, scrambling to roll over and using demanding hands to pull Tom over his body. Their cocks rubbed together as Tom’s body pressed a heavy weight over Bill’s and he felt Bill’s palms splay over his back, pushing between his shoulder blades and urging Tom to fit between his spread legs.

“Tell me what you want, Bill.”

“Ugh I don’t know, let’s go on a ride or something.”

“What? No, Bill I mean—”

But Bill was already off, darting through the throng, his slim shoulders cutting a line between everyone until Tom could only see his head bobbing away from him. Several people grabbed at Bill, wanting to talk, wanting to catch up and touch him, flirt, take a piece away with them.

Tom swore and chased after Bill, overcome with the thought of anyone having even a tiny bit of Bill. His insides knotted and he realised he needed to tell Bill this.

Bill was talking to some random rapper by the ferris wheel when Tom finally caught up with him. He scowled when he noticed Bill’s hip was cocked and his tongue kept emerging to flick at his lip rings. The rapper was raking eyes up and down Bill’s body and it made Tom’s skin crawl. Bill let out a laugh, leaning in that bit closer as he did so.

Bill was fucking flirting.

Tom was having none of it.

Tom stormed up to the pair and gave the rapper a firm look as though daring him to make a move. “Come on, Bill.”

“Tom— what are you doing?”

“We’re going,” Tom said brusquely, not looking at his twin but at his new friend. Bill laughed bitterly and Tom’s eyes snapped across to him. “Enough of this, we need to talk.”

“So talk,” Bill raised both eyebrows and folded his arms again. Tom wished he would stop doing that. He wanted Bill to open his arms like last night, to envelope Tom in a loving hug and tell him this was ok, they were ok. That this was what they both wanted.

The rapper was watching the display with interest so Tom said irritably. “Can you fuck off please?”

“Tom! I’m sorry— ugh, he’s fucking gone.”

“What did you think was going to happen?” Tom wanted to know. “What do you think is happening?” Tom pressed, pushing Bill for answers.

Bill’s eyes pinned Tom with a cutting glare and he announced. “I’m going on the ferris wheel.”

“Bill no, let’s go home.”

Tom hated heights.

But before he could convince Bill to abandon his plan Bill had skipped under the rope barrier and hopped into a vacant carriage.

Tom spent all of half a second deliberating before rushing after his twin and landing down beside him, just as the metal bar came down to secure them and they flew upwards with a whoosh.

“I don’t get you,” Bill said as they sailed up. Tom’s hands gripped the bar in front of them and he tried not to focus on the rapidly receding ground.

“I don’t get you,” Tom rejoined.

Bill looked at Tom and Tom balked but didn’t look away. Bill didn’t look pissed, he looked… scared, a line between his brows pinching with worry. Tom’s stomach flipped when he thought of Bill’s face contorted for entirely different reasons last night.

“Bill…” Tom didn’t know what to say.

“Do you regret it… last night?” Bill’s body has twisted toward him and he made the carriage rock slightly. Tom winced, but it wasn’t the height that was making his heart race and his palms sweat.

“I don’t regret it,” Tom said, one of his hands releasing the metal bar and coming to rest against Bill’s thigh. “Why would I regret that, Bill? That was… fuck, that was a really fucking big deal… Like you said last night,” Tom frowned, “and then didn’t say this morning.”

Tom had woken up to an empty bed and had spiralled into a mild panic for the rest of the day. He hadn’t even been able to look at Bill, who carried on as though nothing had even happened.

“Was it too big of a deal?” Bill asked, with worried eyes. His sour defence had dropped and Tom’s heart clenched as he saw Bill small and anxious before him. “You’ve been freaking out all day and I…”

Tom’s mouth opened in a small ‘o’ as he blinked at Bill beneath the starlight. By not acting as though this was normal, Tom had really hurt Bill and in reaction, Bill’s coping mechanism was to breeze past the issue, ignoring it until Tom had pushed his buttons without even realising it on the way here. Then Bill had turned icy.

The ferris wheel came to a halt and Tom glanced down nervously, not realising how high up they were. They were right at the top, swaying gently in the sea-breeze while the muffled carnival noise continued below. Behind them a velvet lined hood shielded them from the wind and any eager eyes and beside him Bill was pressed to his side, the cramped space affording no spare space for the twins’ long limbs.

“I want you,” Tom said, not really knowing how else to put it. “Only you.”

Bill blushed.

“Where did you go this morning?” Tom asked the question that had been gnawing at the back of his mind all day. “I woke up and you were gone.”

Bill let out a nervous laugh. “I went to feed the dogs. I was planning on round two, but you know, you were gone by the time I came back and wouldn’t even look at me when I brought you coffee.”

Tom felt like an asshole.

“I’m sorry, Bill,” Tom said. Bill’s hand found Tom’s and held on tight. The wind whistled but Tom didn’t hear it.

“I’m sorry, too,” Bill said, smiling shyly. Tom had never known his twin to behave so bashfully. He watched as Bill inhaled deeply. “Are we really going to do this? Are we crazy?”

“I’m crazy about you,” Tom grinned.

Bill winced at Tom’s crude attempt at romance and Tom let out a laugh.

“Let’s do it,” Tom urged, nudging Bill’s knee gently with his own. “We’re good together. Neither of us have a fucking clue how to do it on our own anymore.”

“Yeah.” Bill’s eyes met Tom’s and Tom noticed they were shining extra bright in the moonlight. “Let’s do it.”

“I’m going to,” Tom said, his breathing laboured.

Nothing had ever felt more right and Tom was trying to cling onto this insane thought as he eased the tip of his dick past Bill’s little pink hole for the first time ever.

The room was sweltering, dark except for the watery moonlight filtering in from the curtained windows. The two of them lay entwined on the bed, forehead to forehead, sucking in the stifling air between them.

Bill had told Tom he was ready and Tom had lain him back gently, hovering above him as he rubbed his dick along the crease of Bill’s ass until Bill was moaning his name prettily and tossing his head back and forth against the pillows.

“I can feel you,” Bill said as slowly, Tom sunk inside his twin, panting with desire and stroking Bill’s soft skin. “I can feel everything, ohhhh Tom.”

“I can’t believe you're letting me do this,” Tom said, kissing Bill as he felt himself slide deeper, his balls slapping Bill’s ass.

Bill gasped loudly, eyes flaring as he was filled by Tom. “You’re in me,” he said wonderingly.

They both shared a nervous laugh and then Tom began moving, his belly hot with arousal for his brother. It was better than any sex he'd ever had, it made his head swirl and his heart swell and everything felt so fucking good. Bill’s hands were all over him, trying to haul him closer but Tom wanted to be in charge so with deft hands he pinned Bill’s above him, holding him down so he could set the pace, so he could screw Bill nice and slow into his mattress.

Above him like this, Tom could appreciate every line of his twin’s body, every soft curve, every subtle indication that Bill was unraveling beneath him, coming undone at he was fucked.

Every time Bill let out a breathy exhalation, Tom’s own breathing stuttered. His eyes continued to hungrily roaming Bill’s lithe body, over the skin that was stretched taught over sinewy muscle, the soft belly that was heaving every time Tom thrust into him, his bruised lower lip that he kept catching between needy teeth. Bill was unbelievable and Tom had fallen for him entirely.

As Tom fucked him Bill responded, clenching his ass around Tom’s dick in a spasmodic rhythm. They were both losing it, lost in each other and the moment that Tom didn’t ever want to end. Beneath him Bill was moaning, his voice catching as he chanted his name. Tom couldn’t believe they hadn’t done this until now, couldn’t believe they’d wasted so long dancing carefully around each other, too afraid to give into pleasure Tom had never known could be so fucking intoxicating.

Tom had gone to heaven.

Their eyes met, and Tom’s nearly forgot how to breathe as Bill’s pretty features twisted in pleasure.

“I’m gonna come,” Bill gasped.

Tom smashed his lips to Bill’s and rocked into his twin until they both came with a howl. Tom’s whole body seized up as he felt Bill’s ass constrict tight around his cock.

Fireworks exploded behind his eyes and Tom pressed his lips to Bill’s.

Bill’s lips were soft, less frantic than last night but no less exhilarating. The ferris wheel jerked as it stuttered into motion again and Bill made as though to pull away from the kiss. But Tom wasn’t ready to let go just yet, so he wrapped guiding fingers behind the back of Bill’s neck and leaned in close.

They kissed until it was too much and Bill pulled back, just as they began to swoop back towards the ground in the ferris wheel and towards reality again. Tom gave him a shy smile and brushed the pad of his thumb against Bill’s lower lip, hoping the darkness would shroud them for a moment longer.

Bill grinned. “Let’s go home.”

Tom’s smiled broadened and Bill kissed the tip of his thumb.

“But first, I want you to win me one of those dolphins by the ring-toss.”

Tom’s eyes crinkled at the edge. He thought he could manage that.


End file.
